‘I’ve had a really well-rounded experience with masculinity which started when I was attracted to the boys who were beating me up when I was at school. That was a very confusing moment – learning that the closest thing to a sexual experience was being spat on by a bully. Being a boy who grew up being beaten up by boys and becoming a man who loves and sleeps with men, I think I’m just inherently fascinated with shifting notions of masculinity to be more positive, flexible and less restrictive and to embody a bigger group of people.
‘The topic of toxic masculinity has been so politicised and has been turned in to this big subject of debate when I really don’t think there are any losers in working towards a healthier brand of masculinity. Men are killing women and they’re killing themselves. Who’s winning?
‘I’ve just finished a book for boys and men and those who love them. It’s called “How to be a Big Strong Man”. The conversation can be so polarising for people so I saw a space for an accessible, more palatable conversation starter taking what can be very heavy and heated subjects and addressing them with humour.
‘There is no limit to what can and should be considered masculine. Nobody’s trying to stop anyone from necking a couple of Carlton Draughts while they watch the footy down the pub with the boys. No one’s trying to stop anyone expressing their masculinity in non-violent ways. It’s just about having men be free to make those choices for themselves without feeling pressure to from a young age. It’s about making room for everyone and letting boys become their own kind of men without feeling the need to adjust or change or repress certain things. I think when men have trouble addressing difficult feelings, everyone loses. They isolate themselves, become less loving, less enjoyable for family members and friends. I would love to be able to champion sensitivity in men as a strength as opposed to a weakness.’
Come along to the launch at Better Read Than Dead Wednesday 14th August 6.30-8.00pm.
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