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‘My mum just got out of becoming really sick. She had a bit of a drug habit in other words. My father died early this year so I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief and that kind of stuff. We’re all strong people and everyone has a story. It makes you who you are and if you can get through that pain, it makes you stronger.

‘The hardest part is trying to get my mum to be stable. She’s been in this drug habit for as long as I can remember. The fact that she’s still alive is surprising. She won’t contact us and then she will. It’s really stressful because we don’t know what to do. I’ve got little siblings that live with my grandparents and are really worried about her. I want to do more to help but unfortunately I can’t stop her from being in this habit. There is nothing I can do except for just support my family. So that’s what I’m trying to do at the moment.

‘When you’re dealing with chaos all your life, you just want stability. When I say to people, I just want to get a job, they ask me why and tell me that working sucks. But I’ve never had a job and I want to do something. I want to contribute to society. I want to have an income, have a place to live, pay rent, have a stable life where I can work, see my friends, have a routine and not have to live in chaos.

‘Stability to me means having a home, having a place to go to and knowing who the people in your life are that support you. When you’re in too much of a chaotic environment, your head gets chaotic, you don’t know who you are and you lose sense of everything. Your sense of reality is warped and that’s what I’m trying to heal from now. I’m just hoping that eventually I won’t have to deal with that anymore.’

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‘My mum passed away when I was about 19 so I had to look after my brother and sister on my own. They were 12 and 13 at the time. I don’t know how I did it. It’s hard looking after teenagers at any age. I managed for about 4 years and then I couldn’t do it anymore so my sister went to live with my family up in the country and my brother went to my dad.’

What do you miss most about your mum?

‘The fact that I didn’t have to be responsible. I miss her all the time. Every day.’

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‘I last saw my brother at Manchester airport 20 years ago when I was 7 years old. He was leaving for Australia. I clearly remember giving him a hug and saying goodbye and that we’d see each other again.

‘We communicated by hand written letters over the years. All his letters were always so loving and positive. Whenever he used to phone at Xmas and would say goodbye to me, he could barely talk he was so upset. I really remember not understanding why he was so sad. I think it became easier over the years not to make that call and just to cut himself off a bit.

‘He didn’t phone at Xmas in 2003 and we got a bit worried. He’d been travelling around Australia and promised he’d be better at keeping in touch. He was always at this one address at Stanmore so we always knew we could get hold of him there.

‘Shortly after that, I got the last letter I’ve ever had from him. It was really sweet. He said never to worry about him and he’s very happy. I carried on writing after that but we didn’t hear anything for a while.

‘In 2009, I got every single letter I sent him to Stanmore sent back to me unopened, altogether in a big package.

‘I came out last year for 2 months to look for him. I’ve contacted the Salvation Army, Missing Persons Register, Red Cross. I went to the electoral roll and visited every Martin Roberts in Sydney. I wrote to every single Martin Roberts across Australia. I’ve checked the death register. Nothing. Immigration says he hasn’t moved on so I know he’s here.

‘I’ve given up my life, my job, my partner, everything to come out here again to look for him. Police have confirmed there is a Martin David Roberts with his date of birth listed to an address in Newtown. That’s the best news ever because it means he’s still alive because there is a part of you that starts thinking something awful happened to him.

‘He was seen 4 months ago at Newtown station and around 9 months ago at Town Hall station and apparently he’s a bit of a regular in pokie rooms around Newtown.

‘I don’t want to judge him for anything he’s been through. I don’t need a justification or a reason. None of us do. I just want to tell him that I love him and that he’s loved and missed.’

PLEASE SHARE TO HELP FIND MARTIN. IF YOU KNOW OF HIS WHEREABOUTS, PLEASE CONTACT NEWTOWN POLICE OR HIS SISTER VIA http://www.facebook.com/helpfindmartin

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‘They always thought I was a freak – that I wasn’t normal. I just wasn’t the average Joe as they say. It pretty much lowered my self-esteem and I thought I can’t dress this way or be this way and I have to look the same.

‘I used to live in a country town but now that I’ve moved here I have the chance to be myself instead of hiding away. It’s like I’m free now.

‘You can’t let other people’s expectations get you down. Just follow your heart and what you really want in life. If you want to be yourself then why not do it? Nothing is standing in your way. It’s only yourself that’s stopping you.’

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‘I felt my parents just didn’t understand. They didn’t see what I saw. Not many people understand what you want to do and what you see; what your vision is. It held me back and it made me feel really insecure about myself at the time. I just had to keep going…and I have to keep going.

‘After school, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was kind of lost so I just kept on with my dancing. It made my parents angry but it’s a hard road trying to be a dancer. I have a troubled relationship with my parents and don’t live at home so the Ted Noffs Foundation Street University helped me to work on my art.

‘As long as you persevere, have faith and the right support then you will get there. You will show people that this is what you were meant to do.

‘Parents just need to support their kids – that’s what they need. It’s going to be a hard road for both sides but continue to support and see where that gets them. It will take them far.

‘For young creative people, be confident. Post your work online. Tell people about what you do. Show people. Don’t hide it. Don’t keep it to yourself. Go and open up your work for the world to see. There will be someone who is interested.’
Eliam formed The Pioneers dance group who will perform and model at this Thursday’s Fashion Parade at Noffs Shop Newtown launch from 6-8pm – 461 King Street.

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‘I love music. I can’t play so I feel like I need to organise musicians instead! I do all the logistics in booking bands for festivals and gigs. I make sure the bands show up and know what time they’re playing.

‘It’s good to see local festivals and events pop up – the local scene gets encouraged and they look for local bands. It’s really great. The international bands have cornered the market a little bit and people need to see that there are still great bands in Australia and that they need to get out there.’

 

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What’s been your biggest challenge in life?

‘Doing my first degree when I was 38 which I loved and sailed through and I got a first. I studied Drama.’

What advice would you give to your 20 year old self?

‘Aim for RADA (Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London) – do the degree early! That is where I wanted to go but my parents wouldn’t let me. I became a registered nurse when I was 18 instead.

‘I’ve only stopped performing on stage in the last five years because I’ve had a lot of problems with my teeth and I won’t go on stage with no teeth. I can’t annunciate properly but I’ll have new teeth in soon.’

Will you go back to stage then?

‘Only to do cabaret – I love cabaret. I didn’t find cabaret until I was actually doing my finals project. I love singing and dancing. I shall return!’