‘For me it’s like a form of meditation. Sometimes my mind can become so chaotic so I just need to do it to clear my mind.
‘You have to be completely aware of yourself. You constantly need to be thinking ahead and be 100% aware of your body.’
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‘Life is meant for laughing and joking and things like that. Not for worrying and being serious about things. And if you feel like dancing and singing, go ahead. Life is for joy – not for miseries. Here on the Earth is a wonderful place. We should be looking after it a lot more than we do.
‘I’m proud to be an old coot. On the 22nd of September, I shall be 90 years old. I’m no longer a dashing young chap. I used to dread old age but now I’ve learnt all these things about how to maintain my health.
‘Avoid all synthetic food – like margarine. The other thing to avoid is Aspartame – it is quite a poison. Also, there are five exercises called ‘The Five Rites of Rejuvenation’. These are the most interesting things I have learnt. I’ll demo the first one. You’ve heard of prana and you’ve heard of chi and George Lucas tells us about the force. It’s all around us. There is a way of scooping it in. This is the basic one – now stand back. What you do is you’re scooping it up with this hand and with the other hand you’re flinging it away.
‘I do that every morning. I learned this at 60 years old. I still get up half an hour earlier every day to do this. People are flattering – they tell me I don’t look a day over 60. Well, 60 was a long time ago!’
‘One of the more interesting jobs I’ve attended was carrying a 220kg naked man out of a brothel. We had to take him out of the window because they couldn’t manoeuvre him around.
‘We also get calls for cats in trees and snakes in gardens. We got called to someone who had a parrot up a tree and thought we could get it down. It obviously had just flown off. We also get calls for various drug labs on fire. Only about 10% of our calls now are to actual fires.
‘The first sign we did coincided with Mardi Gras and was very successful. Shortly after that, we had the buffalo incident. People started paying attention to what we were putting up so we’ve been trying to maintain it ever since.
‘We can get away with having a bit of fun with our signs because of the local demographic here in Newtown. One other station tried it but it’s a different audience. They don’t have the buffaloes to start with!
‘I think it’s all due to frustration. I see that show Madmen when they come up with slogans and I think maybe that’s what I really wanted to do in life. It’s a missed calling!’
Anyone else see the irony in this?
Spotted in Newtown.
‘A few years ago I completely stopped watching TV and stuffing my brain with all this stuff I don’t need to worry about and stuff the media throws at you. After I completely stopped watching TV, reading newspapers and everything, just every day I’ll go home and it will be quiet. I’ll maybe put on a bit of music and I’ll pick up a pencil or some clay and start doing something rather than being brain dead in front of a TV. I’ve found in the last few years I’ve really opened creatively. I made a glass bridge last week with a mirror underneath it so it looks like you’re standing on infinity. It’s crazy. I like playing with stuff and illusions and things sort of optically – brain fuckery! A little bit of brain fuckery never goes astray!’
‘My friend took his own life about 3½ years ago. That was really sad – it was a hard thing to go through. We were really close. We were supposed to actually hang out the day he did it but our plans got cancelled.
‘I was completely shocked. I didn’t think he’d actually ever do it. He talked to me about it. I was trying to help him through it a bit so I felt a bit responsible and a bit guilty but that passes. Things happen and people have talked to me about it so I feel a lot better now but yeah, just completely shocked.’
If you could go back in time, what would you say to him?
‘I would probably go over there and hang out with him that day and tell him how many people cared about him and that we miss him and that it would be different without him there because it’s definitely different.’
What would be your message to other people who may have friends in a similar situation?
‘Make sure you’re there for them and don’t take it lightly. Even if you don’t think they’re serious, just talk to them about it. They’re obviously doing it for a reason. They need someone to be there for them. Either way you have to make sure you’re there.’
‘I’ve always sang – at school and stuff. I played trombone for a really long time. I kind of got a bit sick of it so I thought I’d sing instead. I sing in a band called The Venusians.’
How do you feel when you’re singing on stage?
‘It depends. Sometimes you do a gig and people respond to it well and it’s a really nice happy feeling but sometimes it’s just really fucking scary!’
‘I’m a visual artist who’s not doing a lot at the moment because the art scene is a bit dead.’
‘I’m a lawyer working in tax law.’
What do you like most about him?
‘His art and he’s got style.’
What’s the nicest thing she’s ever done for you?
‘Looked after me – we’ve been together over 30 years.’
What’s been your biggest challenge as a couple?
‘Oh, we’ve had a few problems over the years. I guess dealing with me – it’s not easy being an artist. It’s a very hard profession. In your twenties, it’s kind of exciting but as you get older and if you haven’t become famous, it gets harder and harder to keep carrying on. Everyone I know has problems. Everyone in their twenties thinks they’re going to be famous and have this fabulous lifestyle but it doesn’t work out that way for 99% of people.’
What would be your message to young artists starting out?
‘Study law!’
Newtown had its very own town crier today.
Spotted in Newtown.
Humans of Newtown 