‘I started transitioning when I was 17 – it’s been about 5 years. I grew up on the Central Coast which has a very low trans population. There was probably me and someone else that was known for it in the gay community. Even the gay scene was really low so it was pretty bad.
‘I went to a Catholic School as well. I came out as a lesbian when I was 14 at the school which was not my best choice. I dropped out of high school because I went in to hospital for mental health reasons when I was about 17. And then I decided I needed to transition to a man and start doing the right thing for myself. There were a lot of members of my family who were quite actively not alright with it.
‘It sounds really weird but I didn’t think she [my partner] knew that I was trans because it wasn’t brought up. From the very beginning, there was no issue whatsoever. We’ve never had a problem with that. But on the Coast it was always something that was raised; there were always people talking about it.
‘When we met, she just didn’t give a second thought to being eccentric which helped lessen the anxiety about how people looked at me or how I behaved. Was I feminine or masculine enough? None of her friendship group even addresses that. They’re all so confident. I think her confidence has really rubbed off on me.’
‘Working in cancer care makes it harder – I get attached to everybody because I like people. You always get that one or two that you just get attached to a little more and if anything happens to them, it just affects you that little bit more. It gets hard sometimes and you know exactly when they leave here what the next steps are going to be.
‘It’s hard and I try not to but as a human, I get attached to everybody. That could be my downfall.
‘Sometimes I would go and see patients when they get moved to palliative care but not always. I don’t go to funerals of my patients unless I’ve known them for a very, very long time. I’ve been to about 3 or 4 when I’ve been invited by the family but I don’t routinely go to them.
‘The most rewarding part is just the patient saying thank you – that is the best part of it. The reward is knowing you’ve helped that person – not just them but their family as well.
‘I always say to people to do what you want when you want because you never, never know what happens tomorrow.’
‘I was diagnosed with tonsillar cancer about 18 months ago. I thought it was an earache that turned out to be the tumour pressing on my auditory nerve and went through the full degustation of cancer treatment which is radio, chemo and surgery.
‘I’m a stand-up comic and used comedy as a way of coping.
‘The funniest moment was the anal swab. An anal swab is exactly what it sounds like. For some reason, things happen in the hospital at quarter to five so I was woken one morning and a lovely many said, “It’s time for your anal swab.” He did his business and he disappeared.
‘The weird thing was I kind of woke up the next day and I was wondering and asked the nurse, “Why do you do an anal swab?” She said it’s to prevent infection spreading around the intensive care unit. Not being a medical person I thought maybe if they wanted to prevent infection spreading around the intensive care unit there wouldn’t be one bloke sticking his finger in everyone’s bum.
‘I said to the nurse the next day, “What is the deal with the anal swab?” Nurses have the best sense of humour on the planet as they see humanity at its best and worst. And she said, “We don’t do anal swabs at this hospital.”
‘I never saw him again. Nor did he call. I didn’t get any results but he did swipe right so if this was Tinder, I’d be in luck!’
‘I was asked to be the voice of Hubert in the eBook called “I Didn’t Like Hubert”. We made the eBook to raise the funds for the Humpty Dumpty Foundation so they can buy life-saving equipment for sick babies in hospitals.
‘Hubert is full of life and full of energy. I’m not sure what age he is but he is a young child. He has the most amazing imagination ever. He uses his imagination to create incredible adventures. When I was a you ng child I would have loved to hang out with him and visit his make-believe world. But the other kids don’t seem to see just how cool and full of life he is. The other kids in the story seem to think he is weird because he dresses differently and has his crazy hat and a pet rat. But one day one of the kids notices just how much fun is Hubert is having and begins to change her mind about Hubert.
‘I feel a connection with the character Hubert and there’s a story to it. I love the fact that Hubert has big dreams because I always dreamt of being an actor. I am lucky to be living my dream. Hubert gets to play all these different, funny characters when he is playing his imaginary games. And with my acting I get to play different characters when I am acting. I feel for Hubert when the kids say unkind things to him. I have had times when people have said unkind and not very polite things to me and it has made me sad but then I remember I am living my dream of being an actor and have been involved in fabulous projects and have worked with amazing actors and directors from around the world. I am proud of my achievements and I don’t worry about the things they have said to me anyway.
‘I think the themes in this story are something that everyone can relate to – young and old. Children are very clever and I know that they will understand one of the main messages of “I Didn’t Like Hubert” that being different is OK. Don’t be afraid to go out of your comfort zone and try something new. You may surprise yourself with how much fun you have!’
‘Two weeks ago I went back to the doctor and they said they’re not going to treat me anymore. They said I’d had enough radiology and enough chemotherapy and I still had it so I don’t know…
‘I feel quite active though. My lungs are good and my kidneys are OK. And I really don’t feel like it you know – to be saying goodbye just yet.
‘I was Preschool Cook at Australia Street Infants School in Newtown. I started off in 1973 only for a week or two while I filled in for someone. At the end of the next week, the Principal came down and said I can have the job. So I stayed there as Preschool Cook for 39 and a half years. In that time, I cooked over 7,000 meals for the children and I cuddled them every day.
‘I was made redundant in Xmas in 2012 – it was really stressful. Not long after that I was diagnosed with cancer.
‘They reckon I might last until Christmas but that’s about all. And that was a “might”. They said it depends on how much it grows and how much I deteriorate. Last week was pretty tough because I really don’t want to say goodbye just yet. I find it very hard.
‘I still get kids and adults coming up to me in the street. It feels very good. It’s hard to remember them because they change so much from when they’re little but they come up and say, “Miss Fay, I gotta give you a hug!” and that feels very good.
‘I don’t expect anything in return because you do what you have to do. I was working and everything and I did it all for the kids. I just loved them so much.’
‘I’d broken up with my fiancée and suddenly realised I was by myself. It was just me and I thought, well, I don’t need much. At the same time I was also dealing with stress anxiety from working a lot and the lifestyle that comes with that. Even though nobody was pressuring me in the slightest, I felt that way. I felt that you’ve got to live a certain way to make your parents proud and your friends happy.
‘I studied a bit of art when I was a teenager and had left it for about 20 years. When I started it again about two years ago, I found it very meditative and felt very stress free. I realised how much I missed it and that this is my real love.
‘I left all my jobs. One of the biggest challenges of doing that was the fear of whether I would be good enough as an artist because you honestly don’t know. It’s not always about skill level in art either – it’s about finding your own voice and your own style and telling a story through it.
‘At my age, it’s hard to get back in to paid employment – trying to apply for a job when you’ve left it for two years – they’ll take someone who’s currently working in the field and a younger person as well. There was always that risk. If I had kids and a mortgage I wouldn’t do it because you do it for your kids – you work. I can be a little bit selfish because it’s just me. I can’t go out every night with friends and go to fancy restaurants but I get to do what I love every day.’